How to convince the wife? Any tips?

[ashton1]

My current Mourdaunt Short Alumni speakers just don't do it for me anymore. I'm dying to upgrade with the Jamo D500, Dali Zensor 5, and B&W 685 top of my list to audition.

Slight fly in the ointment is my wife who doesn't see the point. So need some help with trying to convince her it is a good idea. I first bough t the mordaunts when we lived in a flat. Didn't want anything to big as knew by keeping with a small speaker package it would reduce the risk of grumpy neighbours. A few moves later I have no neighbours to worry about and can let the volume run riot. Well, as much as my speakers will allow.

I'm desperate to upgrade, but need to win her over first. Anyone had similar problems they have successfully overcome? I could always go out and hope she doesn't notice...

She has agreed I can have them if I take her on holiday, but can't afford both. My offer of Butlins was point bank refused!

 

[MajorFubar]

Doesn't help you sadly, but back in the day, I made it very clear to my girlfriend that I had this hobby called HiFi, and both it and music (more-so music) were part of the fabric of who I am. If she hadn't accepted it as 'just the way it is', we wouldn't have married, and we've been together now for nearly 17 years.

That said, I do partly see your wife's point...if she has no interest in your HiFi she'll want something she can benefit from, such as the holiday. A compromise is probably in order.

 

[jjbomber]

Work overtime on the basis that all the extra money goes towards your new speakers. Alternatively, instead of going out on a weekend, put the money aside for your new speakers. Worst case scenario; just buy them anyway. What can she do? Do you really think she'll divorce you because you bought new speakers? Me neither. So stop being a wimp and buy them!!!

In future don't ask permission, just tell your wife you're buying new speakers. It's called leadership.

 

[CnoEvil]

In future don't ask permission, just tell your wife you're buying new speakers. It's called leadership.

It's called suicide! :shifty:

 

[gregvet]

My advice is to upgrade bit by bit rather than doing it all in one go. It's much easier then to alternate between partial upgrades and 'bribery' purchases such as weekends away etc. My other half would never swallow a complete new system in one go due to the cost, but doing it bit by bit seems to be much better tolerated.

So a stereo pair of speakers, then a new centre speaker because it doesn't match the front left and right, then further down the line getting new rears.

 

[bigboss]

I took my wife with me for demos. It wasn't difficult to convince her after that!

 

[Paul.]

Agree on a chunk of 'me' money out of your monthly budget, your wife gets a chunk too. It's important to be open about money as it is a massively touchy subject, and can easily build resentment. If you agree on what you can save a month, she can't be mad when you come home with new toys

I often wonder about these bombastic do what you like statements and how true they are. Anyway, if my wife was that much of a push over I wouldn't be attracted to her!

Oh, and arguably leadership isn't about going behind people's back and doing what you want, it's about getting people to want to do what you want...

 

[Big Chris]

I've found playing up the bargain-ness of an item can work wonders. When on a whim I bid on my P85 and won it for £200, I kept repeating "I can't believe it! I've never seen them go for less than £250!".... Which had the advantage of being true, although she did have a look in her eyes when I told her I'd need new interconnects... 2 pairs, because I couldn't find matching ones for my existing I/Cs....

Shame it's highly visible speakers you're talking about. My Wife still doesn't know the CDP & BD players on my rack are not the ones she knows I bought years ago. :shifty:

 

[Pete68]

Buy first, ask later

 

[jonathanRD]

In the past when my wife wanted me to get rid of my big speakers - convincing was easy - she was quite happy to come to the demo with me. But more recently, covincing her to let me purchase an extra 6 speakers and an AVR was rather more difficult. Her usual reply was that 'I don't want any more speakers', and 'I would rather a holiday'. So I just kept plugging away, explaining what I wanted and why. When asked near my birthday or Christmas what I wanted - I gave then same response - 'money towards my ........'. So you could describe this as 'gentle attrition'. You have to be patient and do it in stages. I bought my Onkyo AVR in February 2012 and a year later I just need the subwoofer.

 

[jjbomber]

My other half would never swallow

... under the heading of How To Convince The Wife. There has to be a punchline in there somewhere, just can't think of one.

 

[Sliced Bread]

I took my wife with me for demos. It wasn't difficult to convince her after that!

Yes absolutely! Hifi shops have a nice classy feel to them. Maybe if she see's them in the nice lighting she will want them in the house

This is how my wife got interested, and while she's not into the geeky details she now loves a new piece of kit in the house :dance:

I think partnership is better than leadership. You don't want to be controlled, but these decisions do effect both parties (financially and domestically).

Good luck fella

 

[Aslan]

I tell my wife it is better that I spend my spare money on hifi rather than spending it on other women.

 

[plastic penguin]

My current Mourdaunt Short Alumni speakers just don't do it for me anymore. I'm dying to upgrade with the Jamo D500, Dali Zensor 5, and B&W 685 top of my list to audition.

Slight fly in the ointment is my wife who doesn't see the point. So need some help with trying to convince her it is a good idea. I first bough t the mordaunts when we lived in a flat. Didn't want anything to big as knew by keeping with a small speaker package it would reduce the risk of grumpy neighbours. A few moves later I have no neighbours to worry about and can let the volume run riot. Well, as much as my speakers will allow.

I'm desperate to upgrade, but need to win her over first. Anyone had similar problems they have successfully overcome? I could always go out and hope she doesn't notice...

She has agreed I can have them if I take her on holiday, but can't afford both. My offer of Butlins was point bank refused!

Feed her some monetary info: If your new speakers cost, let's say, £1,000 then state: "Should we keep them 10 years, it works out at hundred pounds a year, and look, sweetie, how many hours of pleasure it gives us..." If that doesn't work just buy without telling her.

 

[eggontoast]

After reading some of the posts on here it's no wonder so many people get divorced.

It's a bit of give and take, you want the speakers, your misses doesn't care about them and wants a holiday.

If you want them you have to do both or neither, simple. A relationship is equal there is no me me me.

 

[Anonymous]

It's easier to ask for forgiveness than it is for permission!

 

[SnowyJohn]

Is HIFI really only a male thing? No wives reading this forum pondering new upgrades and looking for tips to convince the husband?

 

[Sliced Bread]

Is HIFI really only a male thing? No wives reading this forum pondering new upgrades and looking for tips to convince the husband?

There are probably plenty...

 

[relocated]

It's easier to ask for forgiveness than it is for permission!

You'll go far. Welcome to the forum.

OP, you could go Active, better value for money and significant box reduction and no need to convince her about expensive cables in the future. Less boxes = huge brownie points if your wife isn't as keen on quality music reproduction.

 

[Son_of_SJ]

In future don't ask permission, just tell your wife you're buying new speakers. It's called leadership.

It's called suicide! :shifty:

jjbomber must be a divorce lawyer who is hoping to soon add to his list of unhappy clients.

This thread is called "How to convince the wife? Any tips?" and I shouldn't really be on here at all, due to my lack of the vital ingredient, namely a wife. I guess about four occasional girlfriends don't really pass muster. However, since I am the undisputed master of my household, I currently have 38 loudspeakers (six of which are only the size of a man's hand, mind), spread over four rooms, with no wifely permission needed!

 

[jjbomber]

OP, you could go Active, better value for money and significant box reduction and no need to convince her about expensive cables in the future. Less boxes = huge brownie points if your wife isn't as keen on quality music reproduction.

So he's not allowed to spend £400 on a pair of speakers and your advice is to spend £1,400 on actives. I know it's Thursday and you had your cult meeting this morning, but that has to be the dullest suggestion of all time.

 

[Paul.]

OP, you could go Active, better value for money and significant box reduction and no need to convince her about expensive cables in the future. Less boxes = huge brownie points if your wife isn't as keen on quality music reproduction.

So he's not allowed to spend £400 on a pair of speakers and your advice is to spend £1,400 on actives. I know it's Thursday and you had your cult meeting this morning, but that has to be the dullest suggestion of all time.

Lets not and say we did yeah?

 

[CnoEvil]

This thread is called "How to convince the wife? Any tips?" and I shouldn't really be on here at all, due to my lack of the vital ingredient, namely a wife. I guess about four occasional girlfriends don't really pass muster. However, since I am the undisputed master of my household, I currently have 38 loudspeakers (six of which are only the size of a man's hand, mind), spread over four rooms, with no wifely permission needed!

Pick the one that's into hifi........job done! :roll:

 

[relocated]

OP, you could go Active, better value for money and significant box reduction and no need to convince her about expensive cables in the future. Less boxes = huge brownie points if your wife isn't as keen on quality music reproduction.

So he's not allowed to spend £400 on a pair of speakers and your advice is to spend £1,400 on actives. I know it's Thursday and you had your cult meeting this morning, but that has to be the dullest suggestion of all time.

Oh, tedium, tedium. Could you point me to where I suggest spending £1400? No I didn't think so. Go get a life JJ.

 

[ashton1]

Thank for all to advice, greatly appreciated.

Some great suggestions which I can put to work. I do think an audition of the kit I am considering could get her tempted. She is a massive movie fan and uses the system more than me. Now to lure her for a demo, may have to take her shopping and stumble across an AV store.

Perhaps a holiday could also be a sweetener