Parents/relatives with dementia.

[GSV Ethics Gradient]

That’s very tricky then. I’d forgotten dementia presents so differently in different folks, and there are so many different types too. MIL had vascular dementia and Alzheimer’s, and it was pretty sudden to become serious, after several years of general ‘aging and forgetfulness’. Getting lost in a familiar town cemented it for us, but getting a Doc to confirm was still fraught.

It does seem to be a very individual illness. He's got both, but his progress has been pretty slow in comparison with other we've known who've had it. Again, for better or worse!

 

[idc]

I now work in home care, a meals on wheels service, and the single biggest client group are people with dementia. Our biggest issue are the people with dementia who are being kept at home, when they are a danger to themselves and they should be in care. I have stopped fires, reported scams, prevented choking and directed people to the toilet who had got that mixed up with their washing machine. But, I understand why families are reluctant to go down the care home route, as it is so expensive. I see people having to go part time, or stop work, to care for their relatives. Home care provides valuable support for that army of unofficial family carers.

My first day in the job was an eye-opener. Delivering and putting out food for people who would not otherwise remember to eat, the lady who had dressed her top half, but had forgotten about the rest of her clothes and the aggressive man who could not understand why we were in his house. As parts of the brain stop functioning, memory and inhibitions fade. I have been doing the job for 6 years now and recently lost the last of my first day clients. For many, the decline is slow and even though we only see people for a few minutes each day, over the years, we get to know them very well.

With many clients, their dementia is not apparent. We often deliver to people who do not need any food. Instead, we are acting as a welfare check during the day, whilst family are at work and a prompt for them to have something to eat.

I take my hat off to anyone coping with a relative or friend with dementia. Please look to your local authority and charities who may be able to provide assistance, such as getting a hot meal delivered.

 

[DougK1]

As I've previously written my brother-in-law was diagnosed with vascular dementia eight years ago. His decline has not been an easy time for my sister. You could say he's non-verbal but it would actually be more correct to say non-coherent as he still chats away to imaginary visitors but we have no idea what he is saying, he's in a world of his own. Sometimes we get a coherent sentence out of him but these are few and far between and then he's gone again.

He recently suffered a TIA - a micro-stroke, which has removed more of his abilities and landed him in hospital. He is now very frail and I believe his next move will be to palliative care. Dementia decline is not a nice thing to witness and definitely not a desirable way to go. I sometimes wonder if he is still in there somewhere behind the fog.