Does your partner support your hifi habit?

[idc]

Quote from a thread just posted by Stew31 about the recent purchase of new hifi;

'The Mrs when I get home tonight me 2 minutes later.......ouch'

This is sadly quite a common theme. I am lucky and my wife will go to hifi auditions with me and supports my hobby, even though she hardly listens to music. I have recently spoken to her about £230 worth of upgrades to my setup. I did this because we share our spending. Today I walked to the Post Office depot to pick up a handbag she has imported to add to her other handbags. It makes her happy. Why do so many forum members report problems with their partner's approval of what is a totally harmless hobby?

 

[chebby]

idc:Why do so many forum members report problems with their partner's approval of what is a totally harmless hobby?

Because they probably have far more fundamental problems in their relationships.

 

[Thaiman]

Easy answer....NO!

but I am not support her Handbags collecting habit either so we call it a draw.

 

[RodhasGibson]

Yep have full support from my wife too, more so for the home cinema set up,as we both enjoy films [not always the same genre] but hey we watch together or if too painful I go the Hi Fi route with my cans.Its all about give and take really.As it is throughout married life IMO.

 

[The_Lhc]

chebby:idc:Why do so many forum members report problems with their partner's approval of what is a totally harmless hobby?
Because they probably have far more fundamental problems in their relationships.

I think that's a little unfair, it's all very well saying you support your wife's handbag habit but typically handbags only cost a few hundred quid, Hi-fi is usually in the thousands, I'm looking to spend upwards of 5k on my home cinema kit, I can't expect the other half to just accept that without some sort of negotiation.

 

[nads]

Habit what Habit.

 

[Anonymous]

No..

She likes nice sounds, but she doesn't see the need for speakers?!!

She doesn't like amps, or racks, or anything like that, but wants to play music.

I bought her a Bose Wave CD radio and she likes that. No wires or anything and incredibly uncomplicated.

She did buy me an LG 32" for my PC though. So we are getting somewhere, maybe in 10 years she will appreciate my B+Ws

Women will never stop being confusing, its what makes them "special"

 

[idc]

the_lhc:...... it's all very well saying you support your wife's handbag habit but typically handbags only cost a few hundred quid......

.....what, how much

and then there are the shoes....................

 

[chebby]

It does not matter how much or little the hifi costs. (Or any other hobby.)

If you earn enough to pay for it and support all your other commitments then where's the harm? (Assuming your enjoyment is not to the detriment or exclusion of others in the family home.)

If a couple are both earning (quite normal) then I contend there is a more fundamental problem if one or both partners are 'sniping' at each other's passtimes/hobbies.

If the wife (for instance) is making comments about 'boys and their toys' and being disparaging about her husband enjoying a hobby, then there are probably deeper problems otherwise she would be happy that her loved one is happy. (And vica versa) If the husband is constantly moaning about her passtimes then the same goes. In a happy relationship we want each other to be happy so long as it does not impinge on the ability to support the family or the home or threaten the relationship in some way.

I suspect those who report outright antagonism from a partner about their hifi are probably thought to be obsessive or spending inappropriately/beyond their means or there is something else in the relationship underlying the antagonism and the hifi just serves as an outlet. Safer than tackling the real reasons head-on.

 

[idc]

I have just checked this site; http://www.relate.org.uk/ and searched under hifi and got no hits, so we are going to be OK.

 

[Gerrardasnails]

chebby:
It does not matter how much or little the hifi costs. (Or any other hobby.)

If you earn enough to pay for it and support all your other commitments then where's the harm? (Assuming your enjoyment is not to the detriment or exclusion of others in the family home.)

If a couple are both earning (quite normal) then I contend there is a more fundamental problem if one or both partners are 'sniping' at each other's passtimes/hobbies.

If the wife (for instance) is making comments about 'boys and their toys' and being disparaging about her husband enjoying a hobby, then there are probably deeper problems otherwise she would be happy that her loved one is happy. (And vica versa) If the husband is constantly moaning about her passtimes then the same goes. In a happy relationship we want each other to be happy so long as it does not impinge on the ability to support the family or the home or threaten the relationship in some way.

I suspect those who report outright antagonism from a partner about their hifi are probably thought to be obsessive or spending inappropriately/beyond their means or there is something else in the relationship underlying the antagonism and the hifi just serves as an outlet. Safer than tackling the real reasons head-on.

Oh Chebby, you really are too serious mate.

My partner doesn't "support" my "hifi habit". She doesn't cheer to the rafters when I go on about a new DAC or explain the reason for an amp upgrade. She also doesn't chew my ear off over it or moan and groan at what I've done. This is normal. Hifi doesn't interest her. She listens to music (quite a lot) but would be just as happy with a mini system costing £200 (even though she loves our media centre set up!). She's also not a lover of football and doesn't rush for her scarf when I settle down for a game. However, she watched the whole game on Tuesday night whilst I was there and she had the remote control to herself. There's nothing wrong with our relationship and I doubt that there is for a lot of others who don't share the love of hifi.

 

[Anonymous]

It was quite light hearted really. I just gave her a buzz about an hour ago, and quoted the rrp and what I paid for them,. She is ok with it " they better be nice " she said.

IMO one of the best looking cabinets on the market. Let's see what she thinks when they come out the box!!

5 years married and expecting no.2in september!!! - Probably helps that I work away through the week to earn the cash, no plus side for me though - It's in Milton Keynes!!!

I dont think I'll be looking for marriage counsilling on this site

 

[jaxwired]

"Support", well, I'd have to say no, she does not "support" it. She put's up with it without giving me too much grief. I really would not expect more since, like most women, she has zero interest in the hobby. In fact, she never listens to music ever unless I drag her into the room with my Hi Fi. And because the hobby is expensive. We are lucky enough that we can easily afford the hobby, but that does not mean she's happy to see me blow 2k on speakers.

There was a little tension when I sold my B&W CM7's after only 2 years. That's when I explained to her that researching, buying, upgrading and trading IS the hobby. She was under the mistaken impression that I would simply buy a great Hi Fi and then spend 10 years listening to music. LOL, so naive. As we all know, the correct way to enjoy this hobby is to frequently switch equipment for no real good reason at all...

Oh, and as I pointed out on different thread, it really helps that Hi Fi is one of the few activities that you can enjoy AND have your eyes and hands free for toddler duty...

 

[idc]

stew31: I dont think I'll be looking for marriage counsilling on this site

We also do 'HDMI cables, do they make a difference' and 'which amp should I buy' counselling

 

[True Blue]

Does my wife fully understand my necessity to upgrade - no -"whats wrong with the other stuff?"

Does my wife notice subtle differences in sound - no - "its very loud"

Does my wife support me - yes -"Its your money and you've earnt it"

Does my wife enjoy the final sound / picture - yes (i think)

Like many have said its a harmless and very fun hobby. Very addictive, we enjoy it and it doesnt hurt anyone else.

 

[Anonymous]

That's more like it IDC, give me your lowdown of what I should buy to partner the Sonus Faber Concerto Domus, I would like to get some detailed kit to help the sonus out and like Cyrus. As Im getting a chord sig dig cable, I was gonna go down the DAC X CDXT option. Possible stay with chord and get some Chorus Interconnect and as I only need single runs of cable, splash out on the signature speaker cable, and again try and get x dem, e-bay etc.

Help me out, will be a buyind a component each month dependent on cost...

 

[The_Lhc]

jaxwired: There was a little tension when I sold my B&W CM7's after only 2 years. That's when I explained to her that researching, buying, upgrading and trading IS the hobby. She was under the mistaken impression that I would simply buy a great Hi Fi and then spend 10 years listening to music. LOL, so naive.

Funny, that's exactly what I've done, bought the amp and speakers about 9 years ago, still got them, I'm only upgrading them now because I'll need HDMI capability and the speakers won't stand up to the increased power of the amp I'll be getting (I assume, I'm telling myself that anyway!).

Once I've got that lot though there won't be any upgrades in the mid-future, I might well buy some additional speakers but they'll be for other rooms, not the main system.

I guess this may help my cause with 'er indoors...

 

[Anonymous]

My partner supports me in my hobby because she sees how much joy it gives me. I think she would prefer it if I used the money in equal enthusiasm to put towards the next house.

Generally our culture seems to paint the picture that spending endlessly on houses is OK, but on frivolous things like speakers is not. Maybe this goes back to some generational differences with religious undertones. Parents seem to give me the impression that I should be saving for a(nother) house and if not that then kids, if not that then next car, then retirement. Are they jealous or have they been burnt?

My partner thinks that her £500 hifi is adequate and that my considerably more expensive system sounds no better. My only doubts are why I should need to have such objects to make myself happy, but that's another thread...

 

[margetti]

Definitely a yes! Even to the point of getting involved in interconnect upgrade A/B comparisons. And yes she noticed a difference!

She sometimes doesn't understand the degree of passion (she just laughed when I bought the mains conditioners) , but she knows how much pleasure I get out of it, and that makes her happy.

ÿ

 

[Craig M.]

my partner thinks i am mad but it doesn't cause any conflict. like most posters other halves, she appreciates the sound quality but would be just as happy with a cheap all in one. also, she knows that i really want a motocross bike and so is very happy that spending on hifi means i can't afford one, or the 6 weeks off work with broken legs.

 

[John Duncan]

stew31:give me your lowdown of what I should buy to partner the Sonus Faber Concerto Domus
Gucci.

 

[jaxwired]

igglebert:Generally our culture seems to paint the picture that spending endlessly on houses is OK, but on frivolous things like speakers is not.

So true, and without going into any deep phylosophical discussion, music is actually a fantastic use of money. Stress kills. Music reduces stress and stimilulates the brain. Plus, it makes babies smarter. In fact, music has been used to help with healing cancer and other illnesses (proven by same study as mains cables sound quality). Music lowers blood pressure, increases concentration, and can actually boost your bodies immunity. It's like a freak'in wonder drug!

And the music I listen to is not degrading the way so many other activites are (like most TV programming). In short, listening to music is a fabulous way to spend your time.

 

[Anonymous]

No. It's while they are out that 'funny things happen', as she puts it!

 

[Anonymous]

EvilWolf:No. It's while they are out that 'funny things happen', as she puts it!

Does that account for the Werewolf avatar??

 

[idc]

stew31:That's more like it IDC, give me your lowdown of what I should buy to partner the Sonus Faber Concerto Domus, I would like to get some detailed kit to help the sonus out and like Cyrus. As Im getting a chord sig dig cable, I was gonna go down the DAC X CDXT option. Possible stay with chord and get some Chorus Interconnect and as I only need single runs of cable, splash out on the signature speaker cable, and again try and get x dem, e-bay etc. Help me out, will be a buyind a component each month dependent on cost...

Sorry, I have not heard any of the kit you are interested in so cannot comment! If your other half ever tuts at a new cable or whatever, just tut when she shows you her new dress, then explain it is because you were very hurt by her lack of attention and consideration of your feelings