Try it with the phase set to 0 at first. Highest LPF is correct - the crossover in the receiver is doing all the work.
The auto-sensing power on/off works by detecting the signal level coming from the receiver, so for initial set-up put the power switch in the always on position, and turn the level control on the sub down a bit more to force the receiver to deliver a higher signal level, which should then trigger the sub out of standby more reliably. Once the set-up is done, switch the sub over to automatic on/off and you should be fine.