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IME. If you get the right combination of Amp/Speakers (with a decent Source), then tone controls aren't anything like as necessary.
To get a good taste of what you heard with the McIntosh, as well as Luxman and Accuphase, look at brands like Sugden, Pathos, Electrcompaniet, Icon Audio and Unison Research (even if there are no tone controls)....and combine them with speakers like Harbeth, Spendor Classic Series and Kef R Series.
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Thanks for the advice. It sounds spot-on, my only concern being that I would like to feed 3 rooms which have different sound characteristics. All those brands (apart from one which I have discounted because of 2 friends both having reliability issues) are on my list, together with Sonneteer and Musical Fidelity. I've listened to Harbeth (although not in my house) and want to demo back-to-back the Monitor 30 and SL5 in my main listening room. I'm also looking forward to hearing the Spendor Classic range which I've not yet heard.
Suggestions to me have been to try the new MF M6si with 2 M1 PWR amps to feed the other 2 rooms. I will only buy if I feel it gets close enough to that McIntosh sound which so captivated me. If not, I'll wait and save.
Regarding the tone controls, I too have Tone Defeat on most of the time. It's just when I listen to a harsh recording or play into my bright room that I make an adjustment and I think it's nice to have that option. I also think tone controls could be a cyclical fashion, just as I feel we are moving back away from separates and because some of the new music centres (and I call them that because to me they are just a modern reincarnation of the 70s idea) are made by high-end companies they attract more credibility than if produced by respected mid-tier companies. The new Devialet, for example, seems to be getting rave reviews and it too has tone controls.
In my mind, I compare it to boots and hatchbacks on saloon cars. In the 80s every saloon had a hatchback because of the practicality. Then they went out of fashion, I don't know why, and became scoffed at. Now BMW and Audi re-introduce the idea with new names (Sportsback and GT) and all of a sudden they're a great idea again, a masterpiece in engineering design which really helps with the practicalities of modern life. Maybe tone controls will become the norm again, who knows...