Andrew Everard:
JoelSim:Isn't there an honour for being stubborn, pig-headed and argumentative?
Yes, and in accepting it I would just like to say oh god this is so unexpected, I mean you come to these things year after year and sometimes you're lucky enough to get nominated but I mean you never expect to win anything when you are surrounded by so many - I mean you hope, but... - so many talented, genuine and warm people all of whom you have admired before. I'm sorry, I'm rambling, but this is just such a shock and I just don't know what to say and yes I know I'm rambling but I just can't believe it's me, the small boy from Pocolocotellanoosie Idaho who used to watch these things on TV so many - well OK not so many - years ago, standing here before you and so honoured by all of you for what is after all, only a god-given talent.
I don't know where to start, but of course I'd like to thank my mother and father - love you, momsie and pops! - and my 17 elder sisters who tought me all I ever needed to know about make-up, snake-charming and green politics. I'd like to thank my life partner, my business partner, my baggage handling partner and my extensive range of partner properties worldwide, as well as Louie's Parts and Lube, where I got my first brake.
I can't leave out Charlton, for all I learned about the collection of a sizeable home arsenal, Kate for setting the benchmark for acceptances speeches like this, Boris for proving once and for all that getting a few people back on top is so much more fun than having one that bends in the middle, and of course Simon, dear dear Simon, for showing me that the correct place for the waistband of your pants is just under your armpits.
Like Susan Boyle, I feel like I am dreaming a dream, and like John Duncan, I suddenly have an urge to get out of here and plough through a pack of Marlboro Lights in a freezing car park. And I don't even smoke!
Thank you all once again, you've made it very special...
Haha, I used to do that. Silly really when I think about it now. You're obviously either paying him too much or giving him too much stress, or both. Pack it in this year JD and look forward to all the hi-fi goodies you can afford with the huge savings.